Fake and Original
by kadu ka
Summary: Naruto used to have strange urges, strange ideas and even stranger ways to get urges and ideas together. Usually that was limited to stupid pranks or pissing people off. - Yaoi, NaruNaru, NaruSasuNaru, TWT, oneshot


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and I make no money from writing this fic.

A/N: Be aware of yaoi, TWT, some language, some sexual innuendoes, my grammar – if you can find mistakes, thanks for letting me know. At first I wanted to cut this monster-baby into two, but I couldn't decide where, so I kicked it just like that into the world wide web. I tried to be funny at times; hopefully I got it right. BTW I have written stories for another side, but it's my first time at FF. That's quite thrilling for me! xD

Have fun!

* * *

"Do it."

Blue eyes blinked nervously; nevertheless he still fixated his gaze on Naruto sitting on the couch. "Excuse me?"

The blond lifted just one eyebrow. Then he gestured to the television, where a rather...obvious scene was paused. It would explain the job – two persons, lack of clothing, faces on different levels, mouth on something large and...you get the picture... – but the other one stayed confused and unmoving in front of him.

The eyes blinked again. Television. Naruto. Television. "You can't be serious!"

Naruto looked down at himself. "Hm," he said watching his small Naruto crying for attention. "I am quite serious down here."

"But..."

"Look," Naruto sighed impatiently "you're not even supposed to be complaining!"

"You wouldn't do it either!"

"But I freakin' created you!" he snapped. "I – master. You – clone! So get down on your knees and move your pretty little ass over here!"

"You know, that sounds narcissistic."

Slowly Naruto massaged his temples.

"Why do you abandon your skilled hands anyway?" The clone gestured wildly with his arms. "I mean, wow, your hands, moving, eh, and I don't think my mouth could compare to these really, really competent-"

"Stop rambling!" A sigh. "Ero-sennins stuff made me curious of this oh-so-holy blowjob-thingy, so, please, be a nice clone and obey me!"

"But that's kinda...wrong, and, wouldn't a girl do a better job than me?"

Naruto gave him a look. "A girl? What girl?"

They stared.

"..."

"..."

"Okay, forget that thought."

They stared some more.

"Well?" Naruto leaned heavily into the couch, his friend already losing motivation from the loss of watching encouraging material.

Finally the clone shifted and seated himself hesitantly beside the blond. "Can I have a look at the 'Educational stuff' first?"

"You already saw it."

"How about research on the Internet? Since my experience is lacking and I don't want you to be disappointed and all..." The clone laughed nervously and scratched his head. For a moment he thought, Naruto would give in because he closed his eyes and heaved a sigh. Then his master grumbled something about 'fuck', 'idiot' and 'fuckin' stupid ideas', stomped of the couch and out of the room. The sound of the doors smashed close made the clone jerk. He sighed and sunk into the cushions.

Oh my God....what the hell was that about! The clone stared at the TV-screen, shuddered at the picture and before the two persons were able to transform into somebody else, he turned it off.

He knew – huh, who was he kidding, Naruto was him so to speak – that the blond used to have strange urges, strange ideas and even stranger ways to get urges and ideas together. Usually that was limited to stupid pranks or pissing people off (oh, and he was a genius in doing so!)

But, what the hell? Since when did he become a closet pervert? I mean, who could blame him? He hadn't had the best role models – they were ninjas of highest level! He couldn't deny that fact, but whether peeping or reading porn were necessities of becoming Hokage or not, he wasn't that sure...

And now?

He blew a blond strand out of his face. As he already concluded, Naruto was him, and he knew how the knucklehead reacted and...

The clone got some strange wringing in his stomach. Oh, he knew how he hated rejection and disappointment and embarrassment and-

"I'll hate myself for this." The clone grunted, thought again and had to chuckle. A clone and himself. Riiiight. So he got up and slipped into the bedroom of the (probably) brooding original.

As expected, there was a lump under the blanket, completely curled up into a ball. It was a saddening picture; his childhood had looked like that far too often. With some determination the clone walked up to the bed and with one quick motion-

"What the fu-" Naruto didn't even get up to shout at the loss of his secured blanked as a similar pissed clone knocked him back to the mattress.

"Stop fussing, moron!"

"Moron? You just insult yourself!"

"I'm not the idiot pouting under the safety of his comforter!"

"And whooo made the fuss five minutes ago!"

Instead of retorting some more insults (which surly would result into a fistfight and his elimination) the clone grabbed the still naked tights and pulled them apart.

"Wo-woah! Hey, watch it-"

"I am watching," the clone deadpanned and in fact he was watching the exposed private parts.

"Eh.." Naruto squirmed under the examination. "...that's kinda...embarrassing..."

"Says the one who almost raped my mouth."

"My dick got nowhere near your stupid face!"

He saved his comment about the second self-insult and made a quick brainstorming what to do. Ok, that 'dick' was already cheering and exited about the turn of events. Perhaps...first, yeah kissing! Ha, he was a genius! So he kissed it awkwardly. Narutos reaction was encouraging. Some gasping and wet kissing noises followed until he got tired of it and tried....eh, think, think...tongue? Couldn't be that bad, could it? A low moan. No, absolutely not. Yuck, the taste was a question of getting use to but what wouldn't he do for satisfaction?

It was all nice and fine even when the blond start trashing and moaning "Gods" and "fuck" all over. Nice combination, by the way.

Then maybe.. teeth?

"ARGH!"

Bad, bad, bad, _bad_!

"O-ouch! Ah, stop pulling my hair!"

"Do you want to kill me!"

"You seemed to enjoy yourself!"

"Yeah, before you start biting my best part of!"

"Pussy...A-Au! Hey!"

Both panted, flustered and stared at each other. Some throat clearing, coughing and not-staring at each other.

"Well?" began Naruto and played with one end of the pillow.

"Well what?" smirked the other one with one smugly raised eyebrow. Some more coughing.

"You're an idiot."

The clone chuckled and started his work again. "A chip of the old block."

With the new started ministration Naruto leaned back into the pillow and folded his hands numbly over his stomach. "Eh could you...hah..." Clone was eager at licking. "...ha, try some...eh, sucking?"

The action stopped, then: "Who's the idiot?" The clone chuckled again.

Just before Naruto's comeback the words stuck in his throat. Uh, holy shit! Widened blue eyes glazed over and his hands clawed in the mattress. Jesus, who the fuck said his stupid hands were skilled! Fuck them! Oh, good God..!

Now the clone didn't know what was more embarrassing: Naruto's sounds or his ministration. Ah, what did he care?

With a cry the procedure was abruptly finished. Now the clone had a problem with a mouthful of- ugh, better stop thinking and – he gulped it.

"..."

Ugh, okay, he had eaten stuff tasting worse than that (takes Sakura's Soldier pills – double-yuck), still he couldn't fight the gagging sounds. Whipping his mouth with the back of his hand, he glanced at Naruto, who seemed to be between cloud four and five. With drooling and all.

"Okay, big boy," the clone sighed and whipped the last remains of the corner of his mouth. "Get your mind back to your body and get that cute ass of the blanket!" With some wriggling he turned Naruto on the side, tugged the blanket in the right way and snuggled up to the original.

"You're still here?" a satisfied drowsy voice asked.

"So you don't get depressed and moody of being all by yourself like when you have fun with your competent hands."

"Shuddup."

Some silence.

Naruto snorted. "You're hard."

"Shuddup."

* * *

The lack of warmth the next morning made him depressed, nonetheless. He turned on his back and had a silly shit eating grin in his face. But he was so trying to pull that stunt again. Muaha!

Snuggling in his blankets he wanted to plan some more 'experiments' – hm, should he ask Ero-sennin or Kakashi for help? Huh, suuure, he wouldn't live through that! – when some mouth-watering smell made him sit up at once.

"What the..." He stumbled out of the mess of his blanket and peek through the door of the bedroom. "...eh?" His mouth fell open when he spotted the clone from last night in his kitchenette. His clone and a fry pan full of obviously edible food! Since when the hell was he able to cook...?

"Mornin'!" The clone grinned cheerfully. "Some cheese-tomato-omelet?"

Naruto stayed baffled and naked in the doorway.

"Oh...right, we don't like tomatoes, haha," he laughed and started to pick the red thingies out of the orange-yellow mush.

And since when did he have ingredients for an omelet?

"You didn't want to wake up so I went to the market for breakfast. I met Sakura-chan and instead of some ramen packages she stuffed my bag with healthy things and I thought, why not? We could try something different!"

Naruto knew, he was open for everything but his skills forbid experimentation of this kind. After all he was stealthy, not immortal.

And when he dumbly – and still naked – sat at the kitchen table and poked into the scrambled egg, he asked himself how far away Sakura-chan would be by now and if he'll reach her, before he would die of food poisoning.

* * *

Since Naruto did not die on his own cooking talents – he never knew he had some – he ordered the clone to clean his apartment. He had done that before but the last weeks were kind of busy and he had been too tired in the evening to even care about the state of his living arrangements.

With a salute the clone jumped the sheets and scattered clothes and made his way to the wash saloon. Satisfied Naruto nodded to himself, locked the door and made his way to the training grounds. The old hag gave him a few days off, so he had found yesterday the time for his little experiment.

Kukuku...wasn't he a cute hormon-driven teenager?

* * *

To safe the money for the dryer the clone was with a load of wet recently washed clothes on his way home. For Naruto doing not much beside shinobi-related stuff, just walking in town and doing normal things was a welcoming change.

It was as welcoming as the closed and locked door when he got to his complex. Shit happens.

"Stupid master," he grumbled and went to check the windows before sitting on the first step of the stairs. He definitely didn't want to crash a window and with his limited access on chakra he better tried not a stupid stunt.

That's when he saw the landlady crouching in the garden, plucking weed and rubbing every now and then her back. Sometimes Naruto wondered if she was a kind of monster disguised as an elder woman with obviously back problems. Not so long ago she was capable of hunting him down with any available thing she could get.

"Hey there," he grinned sheepishly and inwardly laughed at the freaked expression and the wrinkles' wrinkles she got, snapping her head in his direction.

"Oh you." Her lips got thinner.

"Eer, I need to ask you a favor." She just looked at him "You see, I locked myself out."

"Don't tell me you lost your key, again. That would be the fourth time this year!" The landlady dusted her clothes of and with some groaning got up on her feet. "Young people these days..." she muttered darkly and shot him a glare.

"Maa, you're not that old!" The clone smiled encouragingly.

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?"

"Maybe?"

"You suck at it." Wow, middle age women got language.

She made her way to the small hut next to the complex complaining all the way. When she got the master key the clone hold his hand out "Thanks."

"Huh? You're not getting this, dear," she grumbled and made her journey to the fourth floor of the building. Oh yeah, take your time, grandma. The clone followed the snail pace and asked himself whether she makes the groaning noise on purpose.

Finally reaching the top she unlocked the door and stayed panting beside it. He got a bit worried. I mean, the landlady wasn't that old, maybe in her forties or fifties, he had no clue about women. "You're alright?" he asked carefully and padded the spot she massaged all over.

"No touchy!" she squeaked and batted his hand away.

"Maybe you should see a medic nin?" he suggested, but she tiredly winked.

"Those ninja stuff is not my thing, honey." Was she going to scare him with all the pet names..? Sounded like it. Yuck. "I survived until now without this shit—" Language, woman. "—and I don't need it now," she said and went crashing straight down the stairs.

She panted; her eyes scanning bewildered the surrounding until she looked into a pair of blue eyes. "Gotcha," he smiled charmingly holding her from her falling position.

Now even more spluttering, she batted him again and hurried away cussing and gesturing wildly all the way down. The loud closing door of the hut cut off her fussing.

The clone chuckled. He would have chuckled some more if the real Naruto didn't stand with a raised eyebrow at the bottom of the stairs and look at the now scattered, former washed laundry. "Oh." Shit happens. Today even twice...

Naruto wasn't pleased about that accident but he wasn't a punishing and unforgiving person. During his next free days he went training while the clone took care of the household stuff he felt too manly to do. (washing dishes and dusting the cupboards, huh, who was he?) At night, Naruto spared the clone for a replay of their first encounter, he had to make some plans first in that included research...(and why the hell did that sound so much like Jiraiya...?) Since the clone didn't complain – he better not, Naruto thought grimly – it was all nice and good, until a mission role appeared, urgent of course.

Both Narutos sat at the kitchen table, eating breakfast. There was a tense silence except the sounds of munching and forks hitting the dishes.

"Hey, Chef," the clone poked into his own food, which contained again some eggs and cheese. "I was thinking, if you keep me here, I could care for your apartment and the plants, so they don't have a near death experience again."

Hm, Naruto mused. He liked these green silent guys and they wouldn't be the first ones dying of dehydration because a mission gone too long.

"I can keep your house dust-free und could cook something nice for you when you'll be here again." The cheese was stretched and slowly rolled up with the fork. "How does that sound?"

Naruto spotted a shit eating grin: "It's fine if the dessert will be some fun at night."

The clone choked at his cheese-egg-mush and looked slightly terrified. He cleared his throat, poked the yellow egg. "I..." he started and gave Naruto a sad, knowing look. "I was thinking about having someone coming home to."

That comment hit a soft spot and that shitty clone new that – damn it, he was still him. Eh, whatever. Nonetheless, they agreed they would try his suggestion. Not knowing what else to do, Naruto forced some chakra into the flow of the clone, keeping him alive some more, even if Naruto would accidentally (of course) use up all his reseves. The mission was set for one week, Tsunade said, so she meant two or three weeks. Bitch.

The clone got some tasks to do and had...eh, free time after that. Naruto didn't know what a clone did when he wasn't used as a distraction since he was supposed to vanish when succeeding his purpose. Sounds cruel, huh?

As long as he didn't burn his apartment down the clone couldn't be that bad.

* * *

Booooooooored. It was tempting to claw the word with his blunt nails in the wooden wall but he already had some problems with the landlady, so he stopped himself. The rain outside didn't stop for two days, making everything soaking wet – including his freaking apartment! His chef usually hadn't the time or motivation repairing the cheesy roof and the landlady wouldn't do that herself – he didn't even want her to do that in fear of receiving even more holes.

The next day with the rainy clouds gone, he visited the woman, asking for some supplies to flick the roof. She eyed him strangely but handed him the material. By the way, being already up there he could use his talents on the rest of the roof as well. Why not, he had time.

And when he was showing his handicraft-skills, what about the fence?

"You could lower the rent for letting me do all the work."

"I never forced you doing anything, darlin', so stop complaining!" she said putting some paint and brushes into his arms. He felt like doing all D-ranked missions all over again. He thought about killing her potential pets before they could break out.

Painting for three hours already, he felt dizzy and high from all the paint. He even imagined the landlady coming up to him and giving him some rice balls and dangos as dessert. Apropos dessert: where was his chef?

He became conscious, lying in the yard covered in white.

"Finally, got back to the living," the landlady snorted, smoking a cigarette beside him. "I told you to get the paint on the wall not inhale it and get high."

"I am not—"

"Whatever, sweety."

He refused to go too long into town; being discovered as a clone wasn't something he looked forward to. He was too lazy to answer upcoming questions.

Naruto was away for two weeks by now. One week my ass, princess. She was calculating as good as gambling. Feeling lonely, he named the plants and talked to them. He started feeling like a woman.

In the night of the sixteenth day noise came from the front door.

"So much for my dinner arriving at home," Naruto deadpanned, eyeing the clone fast asleep on the couch. He got curious when the television flickered showing some dirty, pornographic scene of a...wait, there wasn't any woman on the screen.

"You kinky ass..." he grumbled with a foxy grin, kicking the clone in the side. "Oi, pervert!"

Some drowsy blue eyes peeked open and rolled to the other side. "I already repaired the fence, give me a break."

"Nice, but I don't like eating wood."

"Naruto!" The clone jumped to his legs and stumbled over his own feet falling to his knees. "Oh, shit, I forget to cook, didn't I?"

"Way to state it, Mr. Obvious." Naruto removed his gloves and his weapons.

"Oh please," he sobbed clawing Naruto's pants when he pulled off his dirty shirt. "Forgive me! I am unworthy!"

"Didn't now I had a theatrical side." Scratching his head he grinned perverted. "But your eyelevel is good right now, I think."

The clone dared to punch him forcefully in the stomach, his face blushed brightly. "Since when did your lower part overtook your thinking?"

Naruto gave the TV-screen a meaningful glance. His grin got wider seeing the uncomfortable fidgeting of his clone. "So tell me, where did you get that stuff?"

"...the video store?"

"By yourself?"

"...yeah?"

Naruto hoped gossip wouldn't spread too fast (at least he had the shame using a henge for getting his porn the last time). Nevertheless, he shrugged his remaining clothes off giving the clone a significant look. However, the clone sniffed on his legs, scrunching his nose. "You know, you smell like shit. Better you take a shower first."

Naruto's teeth were visible between the stretched lips. "Care to join me?"

* * *

The clone tried to calm himself mentally. The shower was already on, the chef under the spray and he in front of the mirror, his nerves a wreck. What was he so nervous about? That guy in there was him after all. He wouldn't try something stupid. Besides he just came from a mission and usually after missions he was—

He stopped and turned his head slowly to the real Naruto. His slumped form leaned heavily against the wall, his head was bowed. Yeah, he was always like that when something during that mission had been nasty and unpleasant (to say it in an optimistic way).

Smiling sadly he stepped to the blond under the spray, wrapping his arms around the other body. He felt Naruto leaning his head on his identical broad shoulder, breathing shallowly. The clone slowly massaged the back of the neck, rubbing soothing circles down to rear and up to the head.

Naruto seemed to relax. It was still his clone but he always missed a touch or someone holding him when he got back home, taking care of him when the memories of a failed mission reached him and tried to suffocate him. It was okay, as long as the hands and arms were warm and not his own cold ones, rubbing the spots and the bruises. His worries went away when a mouth nipped at his neck, hands roamed more sensual over his skin.

The wandering hands settled on his cheeks, making him look directly into the same blue eyes. In a way of understanding Naruto closed his lids and – without him knowing – the clone panicked.

Holy shit, he saw what to do earlier on tape. Not that this would say anything because you wouldn't be able to throw a shuriken by watching an educational video. Exactly that's why the kiss ended like that: Too much salvia, some biting where it didn't belong to and two idiots who didn't know what they were doing. But, woah, the fluttering feeling was reassuring enough to cover up all those elementary mistakes they made.

"You suck at kissing," the clone said.

"You can suck something else if you're not shutting up!"

They giggled stupidly and hit the sack, without even eating dinner. Neither of them would admit that they had lain awake next to each other long after they said good night.

* * *

He left the land of bouncing sheep when sunlight hit his face. Sometime during the night he woke up, using his clone as a confessional box and talked with him until the dawn. He didn't know how he managed to sleep after that at all, but didn't care.

With a blooming grin he got out of bed, following a sweet smell into the kitchen where his clone was bumping dishes. His dark circles under the eyes told about the nightly events when he greeted the chef.

"Feeling better?" the clone asked, turning off the stove.

"Yeah," Naruto said slowly, a smile spreading over his face. "Thanks."

"Huh, I know how much you hate to show weakness to anybody but yourself." Some rice and fried fish and a bowl of miso-soup were placed on the table.

"You really become handy." The blond smiled, attacking the breakfast eagerly. When he received no answer, he looked up and saw the clone leaning his head heavily on the surface of the table. "I...wasn't that tiring, was I?"

"Huh?" The second blond head lifted. "What? Oh, no, that's not it."

Naruto put his chopsticks and the soup down frowning at his creation. "Ah!" he stood up and walked around the table. "Why didn't you say anything? You're low on chakra." With carefulness he put his hands on the clone's shoulder blades, pushing some chakra into his system and earning a relaxed sigh. "We have to find a better solution for that."

With a slow smile the clone picked up his own food and started poking it. "Thanks."

The solution would have to wait a bit. His experience with chakra was good, but not that good to support a second living over an unknown period without further ado. He tried to asked Tsunade, but he was kind of embarrassed to tell her why a clone had to live that long. In the end he remained supporting him every now and then with enough chakra so he wouldn't extinguish by accident. The attempt to build him an own chakra system failed completely.

* * *

A knock on the door startled the clone reading a newspaper he bought on the market. He opened the door – still clad in loose pajama-pants – coming face to face with Kiba.

"Oi, we're supposed to be at the gate in three minutes!" The shaggy head scolded, eyeing the unprepared Naruto.

"Just a minute!" he squeaked and rushed into the bedroom after slamming the door. Naruto stood in his gear fastening his gloves.

"Something's on fire?" he asked.

"Kiba's there, go!"

When Naruto stumbled to the front door, he raised a single eyebrow. Before he could open the door, the clone jumped forward, taking Naruto by surprise when he gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Take care."

Naruto stumbled out of the apartment, looking as bewildered as Kiba. "Wow, that was...fast."

"I'm great, no?"

"Moron."

"Hey, that's Sasuke's line!"

"Troublesome." Both laughed. They tumbled down the stairs, poking each other. Naruto threw a last glance to the fourth floor, his stomach got a warm and fuzzy feeling.

Naruto's smile stayed even when they reached the gate, where TenTen and Neji were waiting.

"What's with him?" TenTen asked spotting that silly smile of the blond.

"Yeah, blondie. Got laid or what?" Kiba leered at Naruto poking him with his elbow. "Tell us, we're friends after all."

Naruto just shrugged, hands in his pockets, and marched out of the gate, smiling his content smile. He couldn't wait to come back home.

The clone thought the same. Being alone for an entire week, he had read every scroll he could find in the apartment (he had enough of cleaning and repairing the other week). He even studied that book about gardening (don't ask) he got from Hinata as a present. He played with the thought of asking the landlady if she had some tasks to do for him, but she would get suspicious if he was too friendly. Hell, he was just bored.

In fact he was so bored, he made a decision getting many strange looks for: Okay, Naruto and library didn't seem to fit to each other, but give it a shot! Strolling through the many rows of the library, he didn't remembered how he ended up in this section, however, somehow he was reading a philosophical book (the cover was funny, perhaps that's why he grabbed it) There was something about the ultimate question 'who am I' or better 'what am I'. He found out it was the question nearly everybody worth of the title as philosopher dealt with.

So when he left the building, a big question mark hung over his head. What was he? He was a replica of Naruto, somehow like Naruto, but somehow not. He didn't have an own chakra system, but he had a beating heart and a working brain. He made decisions like any other human and he felt like other humans, too. But he wasn't human, was he?

During his brain wrecking he got a heavy head ache. He ended up on a deserted playground. Looking around, he noticed it was past sunset. Oh that's why the lack of screaming kiddies.

He sat on a swing staring ahead of him, thoughts rumbling through his brain. It wasn't like him...like Naruto to think that much. The head ache increased.

"Oi, testing your youthful recklessness, sweety?" The clone looked up, trying to focus his sight, but he remained blinking the blurriness in his eyes away. "Jeez, you're really wasted, kid." A warm hand grabbed him under his shoulder, helping him up. His vision cleared and he found that old lady looking at him in a bored fashion. "Come on, you're soaked."

He blinked stupidly and stared to the sky. "It's raining."

She gave him an incredulous look, shaking her head. "Okay, whatever you take or do, stay away from that stuff." He never knew she had a kind of humor.

His foggy mind cleared when a towel hit his head and two strong hands rubbed forcefully his hair (so much for weak woman). She left him half dried; he got it and rubbed himself and after feeling his shirt stuck to his body, he peeled himself out of it. Being left alone he got the opportunity to look at his surroundings. Okay, this used to be a big room. Due to stuff, just a woman could collect, the room's size was cut in half.

"Here." A steaming cup was placed in front of him. He glanced at it warily since he got less pleasant experiences with contaminated food or drinks. His hesitation made her dark eyes glow: "Drink." .... Wellll, he didn't want to argue with that kind of tone so he gulped the liquid.

"Aren't you on a mission?"

The clone stiffened and choked on his drink. "Am I?"

"Yeah."

He gulped and wrecked his brain but felt he had lost already. The landladies face confirmed him. He bowed his head.

"So, you're a clone or something?"

The clone shrugged, murmured something about 'shadow clones' and gulped the rest of his drink, feeling vulnerable.

"Did Naruto send you to twist me around the finger?" She took a sewing kit and worked on some clothes.

"No!" He slapped his head inwardly. "No, he didn't do anything...eh" He cleared his throat and wished he could drink something more. "I did that on my own."

Her dark eyes fixated him. "A shadow clone?" Her tone was disbelieving. "On his own?"

He knew how ridicule that sounded. He sighted and rubbed his neck, feeling goose bumps appear on his skin.

"Take the comforter over there." She put her things down when he adjusted the blanket around his shoulders, rubbing his chilled hands together. "I knew all those ninjas are somehow freaks." She shook her head. "So you're a living replica of the blond bouncy-ball?"

"Seems to be."

"You don't really act like him."

"Until now I still do, but these are sides nobody has seen."

"Oh," she grinned wicked. "So under the bright surface is a dark broody boy. Gods, don't tell me that naive kid already watches porn."

The clone got pale. Then red. Then purple.

"Dear god..." the landlady sighed, standing up. She looked for something else to occupy her hands. "Are you hungry?"

The blue eyes blinked dumbfounded. Didn't they just get it clear that he was merely a clone?

"I take that as a yes," and she start rummaging in the kitchen.

* * *

When Naruto and his team came home ten days after their departure and reported to Tsunade, Naruto was told to stay a bit longer. Being alone, Tsunade folded her hands on the table.

"Tell me, brat," she began her eyes gleaming "You were non-stop together with your team, weren't you?"

"Yes."

"Far away in Suna."

"I don't know what you--"

"Can you explain me, why Shizune found it so funny, that you went to the library?"

Naruto's mouth shut with one click.

"I mean, brat, I appreciate that you really do something for your education, but...it's strange, isn't it?"

* * *

Entering his home he was greeted by an awfully delicious smell letting him forget almost the topic he thought about all the way here.

"Oi, clone!" ...he stopped in his tracks. It was the first time, he called him by...yeah, by his non-name. Maybe he should fix that one.

His second greeting included a bright head beaming at him "Ha! This time I gotcha!" Thumps up. "Dinner's almost ready!" A peck on his lips. "Take a shower until then." And the blond disappeared.

Naruto stood baffled and dirty in the entry, replaying the scene in his head. What was...he couldn't believe...habdabs! Trance-like he stumbled into the shower.

Even when he sat refreshed and clad in pajama pants at his dinner, his brain didn't want to kick in.

"You were in the library," were the first coherent words he got out.

The clone blushed and scratched his head laughing. "Yeah, funny, huh? I got this great cooking book and tried some stuff. Tomoe-san had helped me out with the things I didn't get." Naruto nodded numbly, then slapping his forehead.

"No, I mean...wait, who?"

"Tomoe-san?" The clone gestured in the direction where her hut should be standing. "You know-"

"-the landlady." Naruto finished. Since when was he on first name basis with that hag! "She hates my guts-"

"-and hunted you with a hedge clippers but-"

"-she didn't try to kill you?"

"Nope! I think she has a liking in me!"

Naruto made some gagging noise. "Stop that! I'll get ill just hearing that!"

The clone frowned, pouting. "She's nice if you get to know her. She's just-"

"Wrinkled? Bitchy? Aggressive?"

"-reserved."

Naruto snorted, poking in the dish. "That woman hates me, believe me."

"She doesn't hate me-"

"I'm not you!"

...

There was a looong silence until one of them shifted.

"I'm not?"

"You're not?" Naruto didn't know. He was sure he wouldn't have talked with that woman, never ever; and even out of boredom he wouldn't have gone to the library sticking his nose into dusted papers.

"Clone?" He tested that word in the new context. Somehow it didn't fit anymore.

The other's eyebrow rose and he looked confused due to the name. "Yes?"

Naruto shook his head. "No, not 'clone'," he said firmly, putting his hands behind his head and looking at the ceiling. "You need a name."

The clone nearly choked on his spit.

"Yeah," Naruto smiled "A name. Oh, and next time, you go outside, use a henge or something else."

Blond brows furrowed. "But my chakra keeps me alive, I don't think-"

"Ah, ah, ah!" Wagging with his index finger Naruto fumbled something out of his pocket. "I've got a present for you. Hand."

The clone glanced at the small necklace. "Now what? I get the rank of your housewife?"

"No, moron. It's from Tsunade."

"So, I'm Tsunade's bitch?"

Naruto asked himself whether that stupidity came from him or the clone developed his own.

"I'm joking!" The clone grabbed the offered necklace, inspecting it. Fortunately it was manly enough. "Purpose?"

"Chakra transmitter. Every chakra but mine would kill you, getting in your body." He made some gestures to the black thing. "That's somehow a fake working chakra system."

"My own..." The blue eyes glazed over and with a whimpering noise the clone rubbed his cheek against the cold metal. "Gods, I love you."

"Ah, not necessary!" Naruto grinned.

"I meant the necklace."

"..."

"..."

"Whaaatever." With the chopsticks Naruto started eating again, munching some green beans and paprika. "Make sure you visit Tsunade someday, Neo. She wants to meet my responsible intelligent side."

"Neo."

"Ah, new Naruto, Neo? Come on!"

"You'll call me Neo?"

"If you don't stop complaining, I'll make sure, we'll end like our first time." Naruto growled baring his teeth.

"Oh." The clone - Neo - leaned forward. "Was that a promise?"

* * *

Because both of them had this nasty bullet-head-attitude their make-out-sessions were rather...special, in a twisted kind of way. To outsiders it had to look like they were eating each other's face. They had to learn later that kissing wasn't a freakin' competition but something like teamwork. After this discovery they were surprised how easy that worked out.

Nevertheless they stayed away from the 'final stage'. Despite their increasing experience they didn't feel ready for that.

It was Naruto's next mission that parted them, resulting in Naruto being late because Neo refused to let him go. (after all, three weeks of being alone and bored weren't lovely prospects)

Neo used his new found free time to visit Tsunade - something he might regret later.

Disguised as random dark-haired chuunin, he entered right through the window and found Tsunade hastily dropping her sake-bottle.

"Ah, if that isn't the brat's creation!" she smile mockingly, hiding her bottle in the drawer before observing his different appearance. "Learned from the last slip in town?"

"No, Naruto told me to change my outfit." With his henge fading he passed a hand through his returned blond locks.

"You feel alright?"

"Shouldn't I?"

She stood right before him (had anyone told him that she was shorter by a head or two?) opening his vest and pulling up his dark blue shirt. After some testing of his vital organs she seemed satisfied and controlled the chakra system she invented. Obviously it worked well so far.

The sudden burst of the doors and the entry of a beaming Jiraiya halted her actions.

"Oi, did you get some free touching or why's that silly grin on you face?"

Jiraiya rummaged unasked in her desk, pulling out her hastily put away bottle of sake taking a gulp. "Finally my boy grew up!" He waggled his eyebrow, completely ignoring the other person (now back to dark hair) in the room.

"Naruto?" Tsunade asked, ripping her precious bottle away and taking a gulp herself. "What did he do? Asking for one of your perverted books?" She snorted.

"Exactly!"

The spitting sound of sake was her answer. "WHAT!"

"Yeah, I couldn't believe it either." Tsunade imagined a Naruto running around with an ever present orange book in his hands. Wait, the new color was green. Ugh, she would become green soon as well.

"He asked you? For real?"

"Yup!" The man beamed, putting the hands on his hips and laughing like a madman. "All my teaching brought fruits. Tasty, tasty fruits!"

"Shut your mouth, you're drooling." Tsunade spat, massaging her temple. When she threw a glance at the clone in the room, she noticed his reddened cheeks and the dreamy- wait, what..?

Her forehead met the table and she groaned. "Oh god, please let me be wrong."

Almost the same redden cheeks could be spotted on Naruto, his eyes fixed on a small book in his hands and oblivious to his surrounding plus a fuming Sasuke who would explode any minute if that dobe didn't...

"Put that damn thing away, moron!"

He was ignored. If he hadn't been an Uchiha he would have pulled his hair screaming! The next option would be kicking Naruto to the moon. However, he might need that idiot during this mission, so he remained kicking him without any further direction.

"Hey!" Naruto snapped out of it, glaring at his companion. "What the hell is your problem!" He rubbed his hurt butt cheek, pouting and was about to reopen the book, when a burning death glare of doom hit him. With an even more pouting mouth he put the book into his pocket, crossing his arms.

"You can't seriously read that stuff!" Sasuke spat clenching his fists.

"Why not? It's a new love novel of Ero-sennin."

"That should be reason enough to not read it."

"You're just jealous that your goddamn magic stick up your ass didn't allow you to read some informational stuff."

"Informational stuff," the brunette snorted, looking away.

"Yeah, it could be even useful for you since there's 'virgin' stamped on your forehead!"

"What," he said calmly, this o-you-better-run-fast-and-far-far-away kind of calm. But Naruto wouldn't be Naruto if he didn't use this opportunity to piss the Uchiha off.

"Virgin," he whispered giggling. "I bet you didn't even get a blow job yet."

"What an intelligent remark."

His grin turned into a Cheshire-catlike grin. "Oh, come on, Sassy." A dark brow twitched. "We can talk about sex like real men, can't we?"

"Since your brain has the maturity of a six year old I say no."

"You always talk too much when you're embarrassed, Sassy!"

"Fuck you!"

"That's my boy!" Naruto barked a laugh, patting a seriously getting pissed off Sasuke. "So be nice and let Naruto read his book." And without further talking he pulled the novel out of his pocket and looked for the page where he had left off.

Neo was about to make himself some pizza when he felt the hair on his back standing on end. His stomach clenched and he had a bad, bad feeling. He shrugged it away, grabbed the pizza and marched down to Tomoe. Since he always started feeling lonely when chef was gone (and wasn't really allowed to meet Naruto's friends - to be honest, he didn't want to answer stupid questions) he kept the landlady company.

"Hey, do you want to kill me?" Neo blinked, standing in the doorway to Tomoe's hut and being greeted by those very words. "That fatty thing there will go straight to my ass, and really, honey, I have enough of this ass for the two of us!"

Had he told you, that he somehow liked Tomoe's strange kind of humor?

Naruto instead wasn't humored at all. Sasuke nearly broke his skull - so much for being teammates and friends and whatever. He made grumpily his way into the forest, a pile of wood in one arm, cussing and cursing that tight up ass. Hey, that guy had taken his novel!

He sighed, thinking about Neo. Why couldn't Sasuke be like that? - pictures of much skin, a rumpled bed, a shower and the carpet before his couch invaded his mind- ....ooooooookay! Right! Stop! Get that off your mind! Stop thinking; you're a pro doing that!

Shaking his head he entered the clearing where their camp should be ready by now. He furrowed his brows, when he found a sitting shadow on a log doing nothing but- wait, wasn't that his book?

"Naughty, naughty Sasuke." Naruto breathed into his ear, making the Uchiha scream and topple of the log.

"DUMBASS!" he screeched, panting heavily.

Naruto tried to look decently away. He coughed twice. "You're spotting something." He threw a glance into a special section of Sasuke's anatomy, making the brunet cursing even more and throwing that porn-novel at the blond head.

"That is freaking porn! Moreover it's gay porn!"

"That makes me wonder why you're getting hard from that."

Neo was sitting on Tomoe's couch nipping on a tea and eating some self-made cookies (he became a guinea-pig for her since she found finally someone testing her newest creations! Muhaha!) when that cold, cold feeling drew over his back a second time that evening.

"Something's wrong? If I mistake salt for sugar again, spit it in the bin over there!" Neo gave her a wary look, glanced at the innocent cookies, then at the TV-screen. Hm. He was getting worried.

Naruto would think twice the next time accepting a mission with that bastard. He felt like shit and they didn't even get to the real 'battle field' yet. He thought about peeing on Sasuke's sleeping bag, but thought twice, too, and decided against it. He was playful, not imbecile and he liked being with intact organs, especially one certain organ (he doubt that Kyuubi was able to repair that one...)

It was two - way too long - weeks later as Naruto stumbled into his apartment. He didn't even get to the 'good part' of the book, because Sasuke was being an ass and beat him bloody when he as much as thought about the novel. Asshole.

Now even more, he enjoyed the thought of two welcoming arms, some yummy meal and some cuddling on the bed. Sasuke projected all his cold- and bastard-ness on him so that he needed a bigger ration of loving.

He was dumbstruck when the apartment was empty. The first anger flew by fast when panic crept up his spine. What if that idiot did another stunt and extinguished himself!

"Neo?" He reopened the front door and looked frantically over his surroundings. Where was that idiot! "Okay, get out, you moron! That isn't funny!"

"Who are you shouting at?" Naruto squeaked, whirling around and coming face to face with Sakura.

"Er, eeeeeeh, Neo," he mumbled, wringing his hands and started sweating all over. "He's...he's my cat! Right!"

"...Cat?"

"Oh, ah, he's not really mine...he's stray, and has fleas...and you know how I am, I feel pity for those abandoned animals and so....yeah." Did he just feel like he made an idiot out of himself or had he really been one?

"Okay." Sakura said slowly, her brows furrowed. "Actually I just wanted to ask you whether you're free next weekend. Kiba's throwing a party again...you know."

"So there's more alcohol than people being able to drink it."

She nodded slowly, rubbing her temple. "He'll nag us for weeks if we don't go, so I am even forced to ask Sasuke." Naruto scrunched up his face remembering their last encounter merely a couple of hours ago. "I know," she misinterpreted his expression and sighed. "So just you're informed. Take a good rest and don't overdo yourself until then." She smiled encouragingly and was off.

Huh, with what should he overdo himself? Maybe if Neo was willing-NEO! Taking a deep breath to scream for the damn clone he was caught by surprise when two hands closed around his mouth and pulled him backwards inside the apartment.

"Shhhh, big boy," a voice purred, making Naruto getting red out of anger and...other reasons.

"Neo!" The angry side winning, Naruto grabbed those arms and whirled that idiot around.

His jaw dropped without any sound at all. Right before him wasn't that clone he had left home. Dark short trimmed locks covering the former blond head and still similar eyes blinked at him. Naruto could just stare at him. "A...genjutsu?"

Neo shook his head. "Tomoe-san cut and dyed it. How is it?"

"Eh, not blond."

"... ...no, seriously," Neo deadpanned, smacking Naruto over the head. He wanted to kick him, too, but stopped when he heard a small chuckle from the chef. Two hands rubbed through the dyed locks, feeling the now shorter hair softly.

"It looks...good." Naruto said, spotting a small blush. In contrast Neo smirked brightly, giving Naruto a peck on the nose. "Thank you."

"I would like to show you some other ways to offer your thankfulness," Naruto purred, massaging the brunette's lower back. "but I only got up to the eighth chapter."

"You're an idiot."

"And you like it."

"Because I'm the same?"

"Exactly." Naruto pushed the other against the wall, kissing him slowly. His hands wandered to his rear, palming the buttocks there and getting a groan from Neo.

"You shouldn't stay away that long," Neo grumbled at Naruto working on his neck. He hissed when that idiot bit him leaving probably salvia and red marks.

"Why not? I like the changes every time I come back." With a swift movement Naruto pulled the brunette up, dragging him somewhere more comfortable. "Carpet, couch or bed?" Naruto didn't even wait for an answer as he threw Neo onto the mattress, crawling up to him instantly. He buried his nose into the smooth neck breathing in the scent. How he missed that: Some physical contact other than a brutal fist. Rubbing his cheek against Neo's shoulder he smiled. "You smell...different."

"In contrast to you, I'm showered and clean," Neo chuckled, massaging the blond skull.

"Mmm, you like me dirty."

"Idiot."

Naruto continued his ministration on Neo's throat and let his hands roam freely, pulling up the simple t-shirt. He felt the other shudder making him smirk. Getting rid of the cloth Naruto leaned up, straddling the hips and smiling down at Neo. Then his blue eyes glanced curiously until a wide grin stretched over his features.

"Oi, Neo." He leaned down and whispered huskily while his hands rubbing his sides. "Did you get fat?"

The (until then) panting Neo stilled, clenched his jaw and, with one elegant kick, tried to throw the other from his stomach but failed. "What!"

Naruto grinned even more. "You got these little padding at your sides, you know."

"Get off me, you jerk!" he snarled and squirmed under the other, glaring murderously. His cursing stopped and his eyes got wide when he felt hips grounding into his. Naruto smirked. The second time of grounding made Neo gasp, the third time grounding awoke his little friend slowly, the fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh time of the sensual movement were needed to make his small Neo cry for attention (that bitchy little betraying bastard), after that his brain-tongue-connection seemed to be cut and his mouth made embarrassing noises. Oh gods, but if that wasn't sensual than nothing was. He hips became independent, doing jerky movements, so that he didn't noticed the loss of his pants until he felt something wet engulfing him. Neo's whole back arched from the bed, his fingers clawed into the blond hair. A curious finger at a very intimate place was the last push he needed. In his flying state he asked himself stupidly if Naruto's reaction to his cum was similar to his reaction to Naruto's. Why couldn't his mind shut up!

However, blinking his unconsciously closed eyes open, he spotted a very grinning Naruto licking his dirty lips. Okay, that was...unexpected (his face exploded into a lovely cherry-red to say at least) He turned his head to the side pouting. "Wasn't I the clone to bring you convenience?"

"Ts, moron." Naruto bit into the juncture between neck and shoulder, licking it afterwards. "You are, aren't you? That was just the nasty scene I wanted to replay with you since I've read chapter four."

"..." Neo felt kinda used...but more importantly: "Am I really fat?"

He just received a long stare.

* * *

Being perfectly peaceful with his human pillow aka Neo, Naruto snuggled deeper into the blanket rubbing his cheek on the naked chest.

Neo himself had given up the idea of standing up since an arm secured him on the bed. Besides, he felt perfectly content himself, so why getting up at all? A knock on the door let him groan out loud. Speaking of the devil...

He needed some punches to the right places to get Naruto to open the damn door (hopefully with something covering his private parts). The blond wasn't really happy about the fact leaving the warm comfort of drowsiness, but shrugged it away when opening the door yawning. Ending his epic yawn he blinked at the intruder and felt the corner of his eye twitching. "Teme," he grumbled still with one half of his brain in bed.

He blinked again as the bastard refused to answer him. He was creepy enough being all silent and emo (of course if he hadn't been Naruto!) but that terrified look, he received, woke his numb mind slowly, alerting him in the process. "What's up?" A finger pointed at him. "Yeah, I know, you're speechless I'm that gorgeous with my incredible abs, but staring plus pointing is kind of rude."

"You're covered in hickeys," was the deadpanned answer.

To cover his shocked state he grinned cheekily: "That's the proof. People can't stop themselves from wanting to touch me." Shit, you idiot, Naruto cursed inwardly. Next time open the door with a working brain, damn it!

He shuddered staring at the ice-cold eyes of Sasuke. He wasn't sure if his cocky answer was such a hit, because the famous pair of spinning dots boring holes into his head.

"Hopefully you had fun with your man-whore," he sneered.

To cover his second shocked state, Naruto's cheeky grin resurfaced, although he wasn't behind it. "Jealous?" Naruto was surprised to see Sasuke flinch at the comment. Just in a blink of an eye the blond found himself pressed to the frame of the door.

"Come again, faggot," Sasuke hissed at him and remained pressing his forearm into Naruto's chest.

"Faggot? Me?" A dark chuckle that didn't fit the bright character. "I wasn't the one getting off reading a harmless book. You're the pervert with the dirty mind. But I can't blame you. Since you've got a stick up your ass, you've got addicted to it, didn't you?"

The next punch knocked him of his feet; he curled up on the floor, coughing dry and tears swam in his eyes. Gritting his teeth, he struggled to his feet with the help of the railing, starting a glaring contest with the prick.

"You're disgusting." Sasuke left.

When the blue eyes wandered to his right he spotted the landlady sitting in the backyard glancing up to him. His lips formed a thin line; his mood had completely plummeted. Sighing he turned around and came face to face with a worried looking Neo. With the door closed Neo cupped tenderly Naruto's cheeks, rubbing his thumb over the skin. The blond took his wrist and pushed the hands slowly away, entering the bedroom to change his clothes.

* * *

Later the same day, Neo didn't know how or why, but due to some circumstances, Tomoe was sitting at his chef's dining table, munching on cheesecake and slurping green tea. It was even a mystery to him, why they started to talk about strange topics like that, but listen:

"So let me get this straight." Neo didn't want to hear that résumé of the most embarrassing thing he had ever told someone; he put his head in his hands. "Bouncy blondie made you for his hormonal trip, changed your usage afterwards, you're both getting used to it and now you start getting those tinkle-winkle blushy feelings down there?" He didn't even dare to nod. (and what the hell was 'blushy'?) "That's..." There was a thick thinking silence. "...sick."

Neo felt smashed hearing that statement. But had he expected something else? Something encouraging? Some smile and sweet talk? "Yeah," he said after a while. "Yeah, sick, just freaky."

"U-hu, get that into your mind, he's still your master, you're still a replica. You two...you have to agree, that doesn't sound right at all." She nodded to herself taking the last gulp of the bitter liquid. Neo on the other side of the table was hunched over; his eyes were shy and downcast. "On the other hand," Tomoe continued. "To think about little Naruto's childhood and the sick treatment he received from all the villagers, it is no surprise that he is just able to trust and love himself if he is still able doing so at all."

The blank blue eyes looked at the woman who seemed to be altered ages in a short time. Her expression was far away, her thoughts lingered on times years ago, making her hand tighten around the empty cup. Then she smiled. The dark-grey color of her iris danced. "To be honest, I don't give a flying fuck, what you two are doing or what's up with the depth of your head. In my opinion all ninja-guys must have their brain smashed, these little sick weirdos." She searched for some cigarettes in the pockets of her jacket before lightening one and taking a breath. "And whatever you think is right, don't get insecure just because a stupid old hag or a brainless dick told you it's wrong, but just do it." And in an afterthought: "Hopefully your keep your volume down so that it's not disturbing the neighbors."

Neo laughed and poked her with his fork getting smacked in the process.

In that mood he was able to face Naruto again when he returned from the training ground or wherever he came from. He had been awfully quiet, leaving the house. Despite the long time he had stayed away, the lines on his forehead told a story of too much thinking for his scale of things.

Standing in the doorway of the kitchen, he observed Naruto undoing his sandals. "You're alright?" He saw Naruto jerk a little, coming up from his crouched position. Being face to face, Neo got a grip and simply hugged the blond, rubbing his forehead into the juncture of neck and shoulder. He didn't receive an answer, neither motion nor words, making him clung even more to the other. "Don't abandon me," he breathed, moving his digits through the blond hair.

Naruto seemed to awaken from his drowsy state embracing Neo as well and rubbing his back. However, there was still a hesitation in his motion, hurtful palatable for both of them.

They remained circling each other the next days. Another critic topic seemed to be Sasuke himself. After the previous mission and the lovely encounter at the doorstep, he was a bigger bastard than ever. Shitty Sasuke-teme.

It was their fourth silent meal when Neo snapped. Again in the kitchenette and eating Donburi, they sat opposites from each other and couldn't see each other. How he fucking hated that fucking game! Two strong hands crashed down the wooden surface making the dishes chatter.

"Stop it!" he hollered clenching his fists until the knuckles turned white.

"Stop what?" Naruto said way too coldly, way too calmly. His icy blue eyes silenced the attempt to bark at the blond and Neo's mouth shut immediately. "Don't cross your borders."

Neo watched the table, the dishes, the warm meal, his toned fingers, fiddling with an imaginary cloth. His eyes were downcast while he remembered the conversation with Tomoe some days ago.

"You're going to Kiba, tomorrow evening?" he changed the topic, putting his dish aside because of his lost appetite. Naruto hummed affirming. The familiar silence filled the room, Neo's eyes got a sad shine. Then he sighed, making Naruto look up. "Why don't you extinguish me?"

Naruto's brows shot into his hair, his mouth slightly ajar. "What."

Neo rubbed his arms as if shivering, looking everywhere but his chef. "I am a clone made for your convenience-"

"Stop it, we got through this crap-talk already!"

"-but I have the feeling I am not convenient anymore," Neo continued.

"Neo!"

"The last days I was just a burden without purpose, so where's the reason letting me stay?"

Naruto snapped.

Pulling him forcefully up his legs he smashed their lips together. It was more bruising than anything else. It was angry, pitiless, hurtful. Wandering hands caught skin, buttocks, hair, shoulders. Naruto gave him some time breathing dragging him into the other room in the process. Pushing him onto the mattress, yanking off his clothes, rubbing, groping, kissing, groaning; rolling on the bed and overestimating the bed's size—crash!

Two pairs of blue eyes blinked dumbfounded at each other. At least that small stunt with crashing graceless to the floor cleared up their fogged, horny minds. Both laughed and coughed awkwardly and stumbled to their feet until they retried the whole thing on the bed, more gracefully, less idiotically.

Leaning halfway over the other, Naruto stroked the naked chest. There was an embarrassing blush, shy eyes and an encouraging smile. Naruto leaned down nipping at the similar skin, feeling free to let his hand wander around, finding his goal, massaging, stroking. Neo arched from the bed, clinging to the blond, holding tight. More friction. Neo clawed at the sheets, his hips bucked, his back lose the connection to the mattress. Maybe he would have felt embarrassed at the noise and sounds he made and the words he said or rather grunted, screamed. He didn't care.

Naruto looked down at him, half furrowed brows, half smiling lips, sweat, motion, more friction. Seeing the brunette head trashed from side to side, and asking himself (in the best timing he could manage) whether Neo did some 'experiments' on his own because of the lack of complain, hurt or pain in an area where you weren't supposed to shove something up. He didn't care either. He was overwhelmed, both were. A bit too overwhelmed because the whole ride ended almost embarrassingly fast.

Sucking in breath harshly and leaning heavily over the other by now, Naruto looked up at the sweaty body, feeling stickiness on several parts of his own body. He tried to calm down, finding his language again and voice his thoughts, his...something. But when he looked into the satisfied, calm expression of Neo, he simply leaned down, kissed him slowly and laid next to him, keeping him near and secure, pulling the brunette into his arms and burring his nose into the short hair. He wouldn't leave the bed for a long time, he decided.

His decision went straight into a wall and shattered, as he was confronted the next evening being forced to join the forcefully happy people at Kiba's whatever-it-should-be (he refused to call it a party). Until an hour before the 'thing' Naruto was still snuggled up in the sheets of his comfy bed; he had to force himself to get up at all. Neo seemed to agree, keeping the other near as long as possible. Some slow sensual kisses later, Naruto was clad in some black clothes, waving once at the (a little bit tired looking) smiling Neo and left the apartment.

During the whole ordeal of the so called party he couldn't get his mind into the gutter. His thoughts were far away with a certain brunette, effectively blocking out all the other guests (and receiving some weird stares in the process). He didn't care what they thought because this bubbling, nice and warm feeling in his gut blew some shadows of the past away.

One of these shadows sat in a dark corner, eying him with a murderous evil eye and nipping on whatever drink he was drinking. Naruto felt the different stares but shrugged them away getting up to the bar and ordering some stuff to drown the longing after the safety of his apartment.

"What is it with you, Naruto?" Sakura sat beside him seeming tired of the masses of alcohol; some smashed shinobi were lying already on the floor.

The blond merely shrugged and kept staring at the mirrored wall with the glasses and bottles.

"Yeah, blondie. What's the matter?" Kiba wasn't near as smashed as he expected, still able to walk straight and talk without burping sounds. With a dirty smirk he leaned forward poking the other in the side. "Hey, isn't that the getting-laid-smile of yours?"

Sakura spluttered, staring wide-eyed at her team mate. "Naruto!"

He gave both of them just a sideway glance and kept staring ahead. As if it would be such a surprise if he had sex already; he was seventeen for fuck's sake!

To his displeasure he felt Sasuke move out of his emo-corner coming up to the trio and sitting not exactly next to them, but near enough to hear what they were talking about.

"Yeah!" Kiba snickered. "On a mission some weeks ago, he had a silly-satisfied smile in his face. He was almost drooling, I swear!"

Naruto tried to keep his cheeks blank but a traitorous blush emerged stubbornly.

"Ha! You see! That's the proof!" The brunette laughed smacking his knee and gulped the remaining liquid of his glass. "So, who could it be?" he mused spotting an evil smile.

Naruto was tempted to just leave this fucking place. It wasn't their business who he was with. A sniffling sound woke him from his dark thoughts and when he noticed Kiba's nose stuck to his arm he jerked away.

"My, my, blondie," Kiba wasn't impressed with his glare but rather amused by it. "You still got the smell of sex on you. Were you screwing someone the whole night or what?"

Naruto stiffened and kept his impassive face up. That was as if he agreed with Kiba's assumption. Sakura's eyes almost fell out of their sockets, Sasuke's dark aura surrounded the whole area.

"Funny, I don't smell someone else on you."

"But there aren't people without smell outside, are there?" Sakura was too curious for the blond's liking. Now more than ever he wished to be back to his apartment, hiding under his blanket.

"Almost zero; but I-" Then, as if a thought hit Kiba full force, he started laughing like a maniac falling of the stool and rolling over the floor. Naruto asked himself if he could silence that guy by letting his bottle fall over his head.

"What's with him?" Neji asked spotting reddening cheeks and unruly hair. He raised a brow at the trashing Inuzuka, kicking him experimentally in the side.

"Jeez, Naruto!" Kiba rubbed the laughing tears out of his eyes and sat on his stool again. "You gave me the impression that you are fucking some of your clones!" he started snickering again, patting the shoulder of the frozen shinobi. The group around them fell silent and just the trashing in the background from a screaming and obviously drunk Lee was heard. Then most of them erupted into laugher, joining the Inuzuka.

"Kiba, you dimwit! That's disgusting!" Sakura knocked him over the head, blushing at the thought of two Narutos...she shuddered.

"Yeah, you don't need to visualize your perverse homo-ideas to us even if you want to get into Naruto's pants."

Naruto fell now nearly out of his stool. "WHAT!" He stared incredulously at Neji who smirked triumphantly, getting – a second later – tackled by Kiba and the both of them rolled over the floor away from the remaining two (plus one who refused to be acknowledge as one of them).

"Ugh, Kiba has a sick mind." Naruto's stomach clenched and he shied his eyes away. He felt Sasuke staring at him with boring, brooding, black, black eyes, making him gulp. He flinched when Sakura padded his hand, smiling at him. "Hey, don't worry. Kiba's talking rubbish, as always. Even if it is as creepy as that, you'd better ignore it, 'kay?"

That moment Naruto decided his evening wouldn't last very long there. Half an hour later, when some people were looking for him, they couldn't find him in the location anymore.

Walking through the deserted streets of the night in Konoha his mind rattled nonstop. He didn't get out a clear thought because after his encounter he drowned every bottled he got between his hands to forget the sickening feeling in his stomach. His journey ended far too fast, as he already stood in front of his wooden door.

His hands shook when he opened it, staring into the dark living room. The words pounded into the back of his head, making it ache. Sandals and jacket shrugged off, he leaned heavily on the wall nearest to him. So much for the support of his friends. He felt like vomiting.

With closed eyes he heard the soft footpads even over the pounding of his head. Opening his lids he stared into the half-smiling, half-worried face of Neo, his arms crossed over his naked chest.

"You look...drunk," he laughed silently stepping further in Naruto's direction and hugging him when reaching his goal. "Welcome home," he breathed into Naruto's ear making him shudder.

Naruto's thoughts whirled around without order or system. Just some words of this mush reached his hearing and overpowering everything else: sick. That's just freaking sick. If he had used his sexy-no-jutsu or masturbated to a silly porn movie, but he had used a male replica and...he felt even more sick and before he registered it in his mind, his hands were around Neo's throat, pushing him into the wall. The brunette's eyes widened incredulously, his mouth moved without a sound and his hand clawed on the viselike grip. He tried to shake his head but the icy look of Naruto silenced him, again.

"That's just...sick..." Naruto murmured, a boiling rage in the back of his mind. His fists clenched around the tanned throat, he stared a last time into the similar blue eyes, until a Pooof!

A small cloud of smoke. Then nothing.

Naruto stared at the spot where Neo stood a second ago. He breathed. He tried to. His mind sent him different messages. His hands shook. All he could see was the loving smile, the bright eyes, the embraces, the laughs, the simple touches and then something deeper, stronger. And everything went Poof! Just fucking simple Poof! _Poof_!

His lungs refused to work. His eyes watered.

He bowed forward touching the cold wall with the forehead until a slow sob emerged from him.

Clonk!

His eyes blinked and he stared stupidly at the innocent log lying on the floor rocking left and right and then it stilled. ......what?

He glanced up; a figure stood in the doorway to the bedroom, giving him a confused and hurt look. Naruto shook his head slowly, he stumbled some steps, trying to reach the person, touch him, he's there, isn't he?

Then deep within his stomach a spray of a mix of alcohol and his last meal came up; he puked all over the floor, coughed dry, then the next spray until he blacked out in the puddle of vomit.

When he had thought the night before his head had pounded he didn't know how to voice the pain in the morning. Some fucking animals made noises outside and he was tempted to go Rasengan everything in a radius of one kilometer. But that would mean getting up and facing the world again and he was sure he would start vomiting all over the floor again and....and....his eyes widened, the sweet taste of vomit emerged. ...no, no....tears starting to form in his eyes. Neo....he had....Neo, Neo...

"Hey," a soft voice spoke; a warm hand rubbed his cheek turning his head to the side. His lip quivered as he saw the familiar dark head. With outstretched arms he was about to hug and squeeze that idiot and wail like an infant, when a brute fist connected with his jaw effectively knocking him off the bed.

A horde of emo-Sasukes danced around his head. He gave a low grunt, searching with one uncoordinated arm for support to get himself up. "Neo~?" he whimpered.

"Don't Neo me, bastard!"

"But, Neoooo..."

After the wet splashing sound, Neo regretted reacting so harsh, massaging his temple and helping the whimpering puddle into the bathroom. Some complications emerged when Neo tried to wash the blond who refused to let him go and clung to his waist apologizing all the time. Neo snapped later on hitting him square over the head and daring him to do that ever again – whether he meant the masses of sorrys or the killing intend the night before; maybe both.

* * *

"I'll be back soon," Naruto promised giving the brunette a peck on the lips. He received a chuckle and a brow rose in amusement.

"Even if you don't like hearing it, I am supposed to make you feel relieved etc, not the other way around," Neo grinned ducking the flying fist aimed for his face. "What? You – master, I – clone, remember?" He put the toothbrush back into his mouth, foam collected in the corner of his lips.

Naruto scowled at the change of his words, pouting stubbornly. "You're not a clone."

"No?"

"No, you're...you're...something else!"

Neo spit into the sink, rinsing out his mouth. "Ah, a clone with benefits?"

Naruto gave him a hurt look, turning on his heel and marching to the door. With the hand on the door knob he squeaked as a wet slap hit him perfectly on the left butt cheek. Turning around he saw Neo grinning, a wet towel rotated dangerously. Returning the grin, Naruto grabbed into the pocket of his green vest tugging out a small violet covered novel.

Neo arched an eyebrow at the book feeling some cold shudders go up and down his spine.

"Be prepared," Naruto purred waving the small novel. "I'll have plenty of time studying."

As he caught a glimpse of the title, Neo's eyes bugled, some red liquid start dripping out his nose.

"Icha Icha Masters and Slaves"

His mind whirled around even after Naruto had long left. To his horror his body seemed frozen, except one part jumping into action and yodeling for joy. Oh....yeah, prepared...well, huh...shit. He liked thinking stupid nothing.

In the end, and four days later, nothing was the right word.

If Naruto had been four-legged, his tail would have been stuck between his legs, whining all along. Neo arched one dark brow at the slumped figure at the door to the home sweet home.

"What's wrong?" was the greeting, the blond received, making him squirm even more.

"No kisses or hugs?" Two blue eyes blinked at him slowly, a tiny smile graced his lips.

"Okay, I seriously get worried."

Some floor scraping, some coughing, some furrowed brows and some shuffling.

"Naruto?"

"I..." He sighted exaggerated, slumping even more. "...I have to cancel this." Holding up the violet book, Naruto's cheeks bloomed into a lovely red. Icha Icha Masters and Slaves... Neo got goose bumps. Then the words kicked in, making him open his mouth in what reason whatsoever, when Naruto pushed him in a wall of his secured home, pecking him on the lips.

"This fricking porn novel got me some awfully boners and I almost blacked out from blood loss" Naruto said while slipping his backpack from his shoulder. "And believe me, there was no Sasuke or any other shinobi to smash my skull."

They were at each other even before Naruto had shrugged off his vest. Kissing, groping and moaning, they fought their way to the direction where they desired. While Naruto's mind was limiting to getting Neo onto the mattress as soon as possible, the other would love to get Naruto clean before they got into it too much to think. Naruto was flexible – as if the shower wasn't a nice place as well. Yeah, and the kitchen table – after that – was reaaally nice, too. Oh, and this pretty floor was so-

For an onlooker those two crazed teenagers were...incredible Incredible horny. With an incredible stamina. And despite the fact that those two cancelled the hard core variation Ich-Icha had promised they seemed to have fun with practicing 'normal sex' nonetheless. And as if Naruto gave a shit what others might think about his activities; all he cared was the sweaty, breath-taking, unique brunette moving over him, embracing him so fully and linking fingers, smiling his dazzle smile with his eyes so full of-- OOH! Shit!

His back arched of the bed, his mouth occupied with the other to lower his moan-scream combination which echoed through the room nevertheless, until just their pants were hearable. Neo's head lowered to the blond's shoulder leaning into him and nibbling softly at the skin there; Naruto's hand fondled in the dark short hair tugging the other closer to him and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

It would be a beautiful picture if it wasn't for the suddenly freezing atmosphere in the room making chills run down the boys' spines. Naruto tugged the brunette closer, coming up on his elbows and sending a dark glare to the intruder standing in the doorway to the bedroom.

"How-" he started but choked on his words as he saw some spinning red eyes staring at the bed.

Sharingan. Sasuke. Bastard.

Neither of them made a move until Naruto found his voice again, making a low grumble in the back of his throat. "What are you doing here?" he asked calmly, his hand moved from the head to Neo's shoulder, pushing himself more in front of him.

The small tomoes were spinning fast, looking right through Naruto, and Sasuke grinned with a cocked brow. His expression became almost puzzled, but the grin reappeared. The blond straightened his back when he felt Neo squirming uncomfortable, the smell of fear reached his nose.

"You have yet to answer my question." Naruto was obvious to his appearance. Standing there Sasuke would have noticed the thick air in the room and the remaining vibes of the former sex.

"A clone?"

Neo pushed his forehead between Naruto's shoulder blades, gripping his hip tightly.

A chuckle.

"A clone," Sasuke repeated, his voice had almost a hint of laugher. Ok, he could scratch that; the Uchiha was openly laughing (for his way of things)

"So what?" Naruto stayed as calm as he was able to. Sasuke wasn't making the situation easier for him – crap, he almost shit the sheets when he heard the bastard laughing.

"I didn't know you were that desperate, dobe." He slowly shook the head from side to side in an amused manner.

"Shut it, jackass," Naruto hissed straightening his back.

"I wonder if you call it gay or simply narcissistic?"

"The latter would be a term for a bastard like you."

"Ah? I am not the one fucking myself..."

With a click Naruto shut his mouth before he blurted out screaming that NO, Neo wasn't HIM! Maybe then Sasuke wouldn't be able to stop laughing at him at all. He wanted to strangle him.

The arms uncrossed and one hand landed on his hips as his black eyes studied the strange pair on the bed. He sighed – almost sounding relieved. "To think about, all this shit just because a fucking clone – huh, in the true sense of the word." He grinned.

"If you don't have to say something remarkable then you'd better leave."

The grin slipped from the other's face. That didn't go as expected. The dobe didn't do anything – no screaming, no kicking or punching, barely any insults...what the hell...

Naruto stood slowly from the bed, in all his naked glory, grabbing for some pants lying on the floor. He could feel a stare glued to his body. He turned his head slightly, seeing Sasuke staring at him. He looked like he was forced to rip his red spinning eyes from his crotch, clenching his fists by his side.

"You have no shame, do you?" the brunette asked giving Naruto a quick glance.

He merely shrugged. "For men it wouldn't be that embarrassing but you being all horny since you read the novel of mi-"

"Shut it! Who of us was the one jumping out of the Hokage's window just because he wanted to come home to fuck a clone!"

"I don't think that should be any concern of you," Naruto fiddled with the button of his pants fastening them on his hips.

"Don't think, we're finished here, _Naruto_," he pronounced every syllable of his name stomping with clenched teeth and fists out of the room, out of the apartment.

After the slamming of the door, Naruto sighed deeply scratching the back of his head. "What an idiot." His smile returned he whipped his head around to be met by the blank face of Neo. Ouch, he looked even more miserable than he thought he would. He leaned down the mattress, cupping Neo's chin and turning it. The blue eyes refused to look at him making Naruto scowl. He pushed the dark strands out of Neo's face and flicked forcefully his forehead.

"Ouch, hey!"

"Stop being the girl, even if you're taking it up your ass!" Naruto kissed him on the mouth and – with an evil grin – licked him square over the face.

"Ugh! I already told you to stop that!" He whipped furiously the salvia away. "That's yucky!"

"What? I'm yucky?"

"You know what I mean!"

After that some playful punches, some laughs and kisses were exchanged, until both landed in a mess of limbs on the mattress. Neither of them noticed the spinning eyes from the roof across their home.

Naruto wouldn't have cared for the brooding Uchiha at all – after all the next weeks were calming and simply enjoyable – if it wasn't for the request to show up at the Hokage Tower. Immediately.

Scanning the small scroll from the disappearing messenger bird, Neo furrowed his brows, giving Naruto a worried look. The other simply nudged him, smiling his famous broad smile and leaving after a quick kiss.

He had assured Neo, that it wouldn't take long.

Tsunade had another opinion on that.

Naruto closed his facial expression as he stood in front of the head of the village, a chilly atmosphere laid in the room. Uchiha was occupying one corner of the room, Kakashi another.

"I just wanted to ask whether the transmitter worked well so far," Tsunade crossed her hands in front of her face.

Grimacing Naruto gave Sasuke a dark side glance, then remembered his manners and nodded to the busty woman. "Yeah, it is. Thanks again for the help."

The kinky smile that followed his answer was making him slightly uncomfortable. And yes, the dark chuckle wasn't improving his situation.

"Well, you're welcome."

"Okay," he changed back to his usual Naruto-mode, sensing there was no major harm going on here. "Spit it out. What's up here?"

"A little bird told me you're not living alone anymore. Well, congratulation so far, brat."

Fucking Uchiha... Naruto clenched his teeth. "What did the fat bird tell you beside that?"

Tsunade and Kakashi were snickering when Uchiha straightened in a jerky movement ready to pounce the dobe and beat him bloody.

"The little fat bird," Tsunade had to keep her laugher down "had seen with his virgin eyes" (at this point there was smoke coming from the Uchiha's ears) "some smutty scenes and was worried about your mental wellbeing."

"Oh," Naruto grinned malicious "I am totally fine, Tsunade-sama. Although," he gave the smoking Sasuke a glance, "I don't know whether sex drive counts to the mental issues. Maybe Kakashi-sensei can enlighten us?"

The visible eye widened, the mask hid most of the darkening skin color. "Hey! Reading porn and practicing are two different things!" He received loooong stares. "I-I mean, this is a love novel! Full of tragic and romance, love, relationships, fight and-"

"Sex," Tsunade deadpanned. "Jeez, you start turning into a Gai with all those blabbering about love..." Kakashi made gagging noises losing all color in his face. Tsunade chuckled.

"So it's true that you are screwing one of your clones' brain out?"

Naruto bit his lip, feeling embarrassed all of sudden. He thought about Neo, lying lazy entangled with him in the white sheets and doing absolute nothing – and most of the time everything in there. "And?" he asked waiting for the scolder and nagging and-

"Oh," Tsunade's eyes got wide. She coughed twice, trying to hide her blushing cheeks. She looked at him as excepting Naruto to laugh his ass off for her believing him but...nothing. "Shit, Uchiha," she looked at the brunette who smirked triumphantly. "...fuck, you were right..."

Naruto's stomach clenched. "Now it's a problem?"

"Naruto," she sighed, fidgeting on her chair. Wasn't she the one giving the necklace to him? It shouldn't be her fault but she assisted in this development greatly.

"Naruto," Kakashi said "If you need release, there are other ways in doing so. You don't have to abuse one of your clones."

Naruto had to bit his tongue from keeping him to protest against that statement. Hell, he was so not abusing him! (to be honest, Neo jumped him as often as he did jump Neo!) "He isn't complaining so far."

Sasuke snorted. "A clone isn't supposed to complain."

"He has my traits of character; he is very well able to be stubborn."

"Then he's very much as idiotic as you are to not notice the difference between a real human and a fucking illusion."

"He's real!" Naruto's voice got louder.

"That's why you dyed his hair?" A chuckle.

"Fuck you, Neo did that on his own choice!"

The room fell awfully silent. There was barely any shifting within the next two minutes.

"Naruto." The business-like tone of Tsunade cut through the thick silence. "You gave him a name?"

Naruto felt how much the idea distaste her even if he could hear the worried motherly side under the cold façade. Before he could blur out some more things, he shouldn't say, he pressed his lips together biting on his tongue until he could feel the metallic taste of blood on it.

"Naruto," Why did every sentence have to begin with his name? "You don't extinguish your clone after using him." Bull's-eye.

Nevertheless Naruto scowled clenching his fists by his side. Using, abusing. What kind of sick person did they think he was?

"How long?" Kakashi asked taking a step to the silent shinobi.

Naruto tried to remember when he started his little 'experiment' and since when it took another direction as he expected. He didn't know; Neo had been there for quite a long time maybe- "Maybe half a year. Give or take some weeks."

The next heavy silence.

Now for sure, Tsunade wasn't very pleased with it. She would tell him that it was sick and wrong and he had to stop it, and and and...

"You know what you are doing?" she asked instead, making him raise his head, confusion clearly written on his face.

After that there wasn't said or asked much more (much to Sasuke's displeasure). Naruto was left alone with the question. He asked it himself multiple times, even after he entered his home. When Neo smiled at him with the still present worry between his eyes, kissing him, hugging him, burying his forehead into his neck, Naruto just breathed his sent in, enjoying the warmth radiating from him.

What was he doing? He was looking for comfort, safety and – as corny as it might sound – love. Was there something wrong with it? He was sure he could trust him; he wouldn't have to worry about Neo betraying him, now would he? With how many persons in his surroundings was that the case?

Again, lying in bed beside the source of warmth at night, in the morning, at noon, he refused to think about Sasuke and Sasuke-related stuff.

Just the bastard was difficult not to think about. Since knowing he was with a 'clone' (that asshole refused to say his name) he became quite persistent. Sure, he enjoyed some matches on the playground aka training field, but after every session Sasuke would start with 'That clone' and Naruto would punch him and marched home fuming.

Not every time Naruto was so lucky to get away with a single punch.

"Goddamn, dobe!" Sasuke hollered, throwing two shuriken after the blond. "Get real!" He was fuming even more when the idiot walked away, no worry about protecting his attackable back. "If you need someone to hold you, you can rely on your friends!"

Naruto walked on stubbornly until two pale hands grabbed him, spinning him around effortlessly. He cocked an eyebrow at the desperation in the black eyes. "Dobe, fuck, we're worried about you!"

The blond shook the offending hands off. "Stop reading the Icha Icha-series; you already sound like a drama queen." He took two steps back calmly before turning.

"If you're not going to extinguish him, I will!"

That got him. His whole back tensed, icy-cold blue eyes blinked back at the Uchiha. "Touch him," he whispered, his face grim. "and I'll tear your limbs apart."

Sasuke stared unbelieving at the vanishing back of his rival, repeating that statement in his head. He would have laughed at the obvious bluff if it wasn't for the fact, that it hadn't been one. Naruto was fucking serious.

* * *

"I thought we're over this," Naruto said crossing his arms. He stared at the blond woman behind the desk requesting the reason why he had to come here. Again. "Or had the fat bird twittered even more stupid nonsense?"

"You will extinguish Neo." This was not a question, but an order. The lack of using his name purposefully and mentioning Neo as Neo (not as a stupid clone) made Naruto going rigid.

"Excuse me?"

"Don't play dumb, you heard me."

"No."

Tsunade quirked an eyebrow. "You said 'no'?"

"No," Naruto's mouth went dry. "I will not...I don't want to kill him."

A tired sigh emerged. "Please listen; that's actually the reason, you better serve the bond with him-" Serve the bond! How he hated this fucking sentence! "-before something terrible happen."

Terrible? What could possibly be more terrible then- he stopped his musing, searching the room with widened eyes.

"I saw the changes in you, and beside I am not pleased with the use of a shadow clone, I was glad seeing you happier and relieved-"

"Where is Sasuke?"

"-I can imagine for you how it may be coming home to welcoming arms, but as pleasant as that picture may be, you have to agree, that it would be better if it was a real person rather than a technique you are supposed to use in the battlefield."

"Where the hell is Sasuke!"

"Listen, Naruto! I will not tolerate that you are threatening one of my shinobis in favor of a clone – being real or not!"

She wanted to continue even if Naruto became slightly hysterical and tried to scream at her again, when a painful expression shot over his face and he fell to his knees.

"Naruto?"

He coughed, clutching his stomach, when a small dribble of blood emerged from the corner of his mouth, his body shaking. He lowered his head to the ground, pained pants and grunts, and when Tsunade run to his side to see what was wrong, he bolted out of the room, jumping out the window and run with an insane speed over the roofs.

Tsunade gaped at him, then at the spot where he had been and eyed the bloody carpet with a deep frown. "Shit..."

Sasuke's hand shook slightly as it was holding a bloodied katana. His dark eyes run over the blood covered body being still very much alive. Blue fiery and oh so familiar eyes burning hateful at him.

Neo was pressed against a wall of Naruto's apartment, clutching his middle and panting heavily.

"You should be gone with a cloud of smoke by now," Sasuke stated as if he wanted to convince the clone what he should have done when he rammed the blade through his body.

A sickening feeling crawled up Sasuke's spine making him shudder. The longer he looked at the familiar blue eyes, the more horror and disgust overwhelmed him. The scene was too close to another he tried to forget since a long time.

"You're just a...fucking...clone," he panted as if convincing himself this time. "Why the hell aren't you gone yet!"

"Funny, huh?" he rasped out. His attempt to get back on his feet was useless, he felt weak and tired.

"Why the hell," Sasuke started bringing up his katana "aren't you gone yet!" The blade went right through the chest hitting the wall behind him. Still no poof. Where was the poof! Sasuke started getting nervous and insecure.

Neo coughed up some more blood, looking tired at the Uchiha. The former hate in his eyes slowly vanished, leaving behind some regret and hope. "You...care for him...don't you?"

Sasuke was on the brick of going Chidori the whole apartment to get this frightening picture before him out of the world. Just the only thing bursting was the door crashing into the wall and revealing a panting and obviously injured Naruto. Sasuke's eye widened at the sight of dripping blood on his friend's clothes.

The blue eyes looked confused at first, seeing the Uchiha standing in his bedroom; then his gaze met Neo's. His body seemed to be frozen on the spot, unable to move or say anything. With a ghost of a relieved smile Neo closed his eyes, tugging at his collar and revealing the black necklace in the process. "Come on boy, don't give me that look. You knew...it would happen sooner or later."

Naruto shook slowly his head. No...no, he didn't fucking know! What an idiot was he!

However, he watched unmoving how the two bloodied hands reached for the necklace and undoing it before he could blink and understand what Neo had done at all. Opening and closing his mouth without a sound and stumbling three steps backwards (nearly bumping into the stunned Sasuke), seeing Neo smiling brightly, then

Poof!

In his confused mind, Naruto hoped a log would fall onto the ground like the last time he heard this fucking poof. Just when he saw the black necklace lying dirty on the floor, he knew there wouldn't be a stupid piece of wood this time. A prickling sensation bloomed in the back of his eyes, he saw a movement to his side – knowing it was Sasuke, as he lay a hand on his shoulder – when a burning pain shot through his head, filling him up with tons of pictures and information and emotions – foreign, unforeign, oh so familiar and-

black.

Sasuke jumped forward and caught the unconscious blond before he hit the ground.

"Dobe?" He shook him, watching his pale skin and glancing at the reddened spot on the wall and back to the blond in his arms. "Naruto?"

He wouldn't answer for a week.

* * *

None of his friends wanted to see the blubby blond in creepy white sheets and to avoid question Sasuke suggested to keep the unmoving man at his home; a week already passed by with Naruto doing nothing much besides opening his eyes. Tsunade told him some confusing theses of the connection between Naruto and the not-vanishing clone and what might have happened to him after his way-to-long-lasting 'creation' went back into his mind – Sasuke blocked her speech after five minutes, just waiting for the moment she declared that the idiotic dobe would come back to himself.

* * *

Sasuke sighed, watching the blue eyes shift from one corner of the room to another. He hadn't said anything – neither Sasuke nor Naruto. The Uchiha was close to grabbing the blond and shaking him to his senses but he was more tactful than that.

With one leg crossed over the other he flipped listless through the violet porn-novel, cocking a brow every now and then. He imagined Naruto and...the clone doing stuff like that, making page fifty-six colored in lovely red dots. Little Sasuke wasn't as enthusiastic as Sasuke's other body parts; every time looking into the closed off face of the dobe, he flinched.

"Come on, Naruto," he sighed deeply "Say something...anything."

The apathy pupils shifted to the window, eying the world behind the opened curtain, hearing fucking animals making noises.

"Loved me."

Dark eyes blinked rapidly; throwing the book into the air, Sasuke got up und leaned over the slightly turned head. "What did you say?"

"Neo..." Sasuke's lips thinned, the enthusiastic shine was smashed. "He loved me."

Keeping himself from saying something against the statement (fuck, whatever he said; he said something!) Sasuke – without doing anything – motioned Naruto to go on.

"He wasn't me anymore...he became different, he had his own head, his own stubbornness, his own thoughts, feelings." The raspy voice sighed, eyes closing. "Fuck." Two tanned hands reached up from under the blanket, rubbing tiredly his forehead until the balls of his hands rested upon his eyes.

"Naruto?"

"I think, I'm going insane."

Automatically a pale hand clutched onto his shoulder, rubbing it soothingly.

"My fucking head feels like it explodes. Ya know, as in pressing eight bowls of ramen into yourself – you want to vomit, but there's nothing coming out."

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow at the comparison.

"It's nice at first, that feeling...and stuff, but after the sixth bowl you feel like crap and all and after that you just want it to stop."

"Then it's time for shitting," Sasuke deadpanned, enjoying the view of two corners turned up. A little bit.

"Bastard. Let me get this through my bowel at first."

"Hn, you had squeezed far worse things through that organ." Sasuke wanted to smack himself – verrrry tactful, you asshole, he cursed inwardly, regretting to bring up memories Naruto had barely been able to stomach. "Okay, dobe," hidden by the bed itself, Sasuke shove the violet book under and out of view. "Get up. Probably you smell like shit plus we need to fill up your empty stomach."

The following false grin made Sasuke's gut clench uncomfortably, but he put the feeling aside. He was relieved that the idiot decided to come back to the living.

As glad as Sasuke the others were as well. Except maybe Tsunade who went almost on rampage and knocked him into a coma for making them worry so much. Everyone close to Naruto noticed the strange glint in the blue eyes; neither of them dared to say a word about it.

Naruto seemed to act like himself again although making sure to stay with at least one of his friends (he punched nearly everyone who dared to say he sought for body contact – he was addicted to contact, not a whore). All the time Sasuke kept a watchful eye on the blond, following him like a shadow as often as possible.

The biggest challenge was, however, for Naruto to go to bed by himself. Alone in that fucking empty bed. Hell, due to the small size he had to squeeze himself and Neo on the mattress, so no one would fall off it. Now he was barely able to sleep there. After three days he asked one of his friends to stay over.

To his surprise the landlady seemed awfully understanding, lowering his rent and babbling something about paying an old bill – Naruto didn't get that woman. He would never, he guessed.

After two weeks Tsunade was willing to let him do some missions – her decision based on the worry of his friends, he stayed with, that Naruto sure would go nuts if he couldn't use his hand for something. (she suggested him knitting or painting that ended in a smashed door....haa, that boy had no humor)

* * *

Naruto run with Kiba through the forest, a horde of moronic self-claimed shinobi on their heels, throwing weapons of all kinds at the two without hitting once the target. Idiots.

When splitting in two directions Naruto performed the usual seal, calling a shadow clone for distraction. From this point of time all went down. Naruto just needed to hear the poof! and his mind went blank. He blinked at the brightly blond clone standing at the clearing and waiting for the enemies to arrive. His heart beat rapidly, seeing the emerging horde, screaming a desperate "Neo!" until the men reached his fighting creation until-

Poof!

* * *

The report of that mission was somehow funny, in a twisted, scary way of things. Tsunade didn't really believe Kiba's explanation why the hell a whole mountainside lost its forest. Naruto and losing his temper? Okay, we got that – didn't happen the first time. Losing it so far he killed twenty men at once? No, that wasn't something the blond would do. Ever.

After that Sasuke was assigned to keep a watching eye on the dobe more openly – in other words: he almost seemed to be glued to his back, much to Naruto's anger.

He barely got a minute without the dark head, especially when he needed some warm hands, not some punching ones. The incident, which got him into this misery, was always current in his mind. It nagged him, that he had lost it and he feared to think about the reason, keeping him up late at night.

Like this one.

He sat cross-legged on his futon, listening to the silence of the night. He had to prove it to himself, maybe then he would be able to sleep.

Performing the familiar seals again, determination in his eyes, his body shaking (whether from excitement or fear, he didn't know), and the stomach-clenching _poof!_ echoed in the room. Standing up and getting nose to nose with his replica, Naruto's eyes searched in the other ones, craving to see something there. Without such a luck (the clone merely blinked at him stupidly) he stumbled some steps backwards, eyeing the blond clone in the distant.

He motioned for him to take off his clothes (he overheard the protesting sound and his cold stare silenced the other without him knowing) before he roamed his gaze over the similar skin. When his view fell on its face again, he saw the embarrassment, the shy eyes and the bright blush. Two tanned hands protected his private parts from the world to see, the muscles stiffened under the skin.

"Get down here and give me a head," Naruto ordered, receiving widened eyes, a bright blush and an annoyed, in protest opened mouth as answer.

"What the-! Are you fucki-" he couldn't finish his shout as he already disappeared into a cloud of smoke. Naruto froze into his punching position, his fist clenched in the now empty place, a burning feeling behind his eyes.

"Satisfied?"

Naruto breathed out, relaxing his arm and lowering it beside him. To occupy his hands he straightened his sleeping pants before he turned around slowly. In the doorway, Sasuke was standing – the fat bird, the watchdog, the bastard...whatever term might fit at the moment.

"You wanted to create another long-time-clone?" The chilly voice full of something (anger? disappointment? jealous?) cut through the air, but it didn't reach Naruto.

"No," he sighed, "that would be pointless." In an afterthought: "No one would be like him."

The brunette drew nearer, making his presence almost unbearable. "Why do you mourn over something like a clone?"

"Someone," Naruto corrected him.

"If you don't stop referring to it as a person, you will never get over it."

"Him!" Naruto hollered. "Don't you get it? It was a fucking person! He was real! His memories filling up my head like a fuckin' Christmas Goose!" He took two steps to the brunette. "Have you any idea, how that feels like? How it is to remember something in two different views, one even more filled up with desire than the other!" Naruto choked down a sob, clenching his fists and catching his posture again. "And just making me forget about him would be as pathetic as weak, don't you think so, Sasuke?" Naruto approached the stunned Uchiha slowly, eyeing him with a strange glint. "But if you want me so bad to get over it," one tanned hand reached out, cupping the surprised Sasuke under the chin and forcing up his head gently, "care to help me?"

Sasuke's own breath hitched as warm breath ghosted over his face. He heard bells jingle in the background of his thoughts: Ohgodohgodohgod! And it got worse when Naruto forcefully cupped his butt. Lill' Sasuke jumped into action, all the fucking thoughts (that improved since he discovered the gay porn novel of Naruto) came up at once, making him stutter, blush, drool – oh, and losing his dignity, but that's beside the point.

His mind stumbled like a rollercoaster, when the dobe kissed him. Deep. That moment his mind went to nobody-cares-where, he wrapped his arms around the other and pressing obviously parts into one another. He gasped for breath when his back hit the soft futon, a predatory Naruto hovering above him. Emerging thoughts were killed by the next kiss, and the one after that....and the tongue fighting its way into his mouth making him do embarrassing sounds, moans, and grunts.

He couldn't remember when but somehow Naruto had found his way between his legs, and somehow he had lost all his clothes and started sweating.

While Naruto was busy eating off his lips (not that he cared that much), curious hands found their way downward, gripping what they could find until Sasuke lost his focus completely, drowning in between his blond desire and the mind-killing treatment he received. Holy shit.

The preparation and everything that followed was nothing but a blur, making him question his own sanity, as he found himself suddenly very erect, very much under the blond, and very much penetrated and....oooooh god. Sweat and tears mixed on his skin, he was hardly able to open his eyes, seeing Naruto move, his scrunched up face and the sudden jerk of his hips.

It ended all too soon with Naruto's climax. And his shout.

Sasuke's whole mind froze while his body went on. His climax hit moments after Naruto's, but he just gasped at the pee-like sensation. He hardly noticed the weight of Naruto falling onto him breathing heavily. The mouth open to say something, Sasuke gaped at the ceiling, feeling wetness on his shoulder and hearing the sob from the man above. He felt like crying himself.

He wasn't that...Neo! Shit, no! Why hadn't the idiot shouted his name! Why! _Why?_ He punched his left eye with his knuckles trying to make his head clear.

"Neo..." Sasuke bit his lip, trembling in rising anger and disappointment. "Neo..." If that dobe said that name once more...

The weight lifted from his body. The former sneer on his face vanished as he saw the lost and lonely expression of Naruto, crying like a child. "I'm sorry," he rasped out clutching onto the brunette. He apologized again burying his face into Sasuke's neck. Apologizing. Apologizing.

Even if Sasuke had been just a replacement at that moment and should feel furious about it, he couldn't help himself but embrace that sobbing idiot and stroke the messy hair. Hell, he could hope only that his dobe finally got over his self-made nightmare.

* * *

There was an embarrassing atmosphere between them; they somehow avoided looking at each other. Finally Naruto let out a breath, taking the last brave steps to close the gap, clutching rather clumsy onto the other's shoulders. Without any preamble he kissed him fully on the lips, devouring the taste and grasped at the dark clothes. They parted shortly after, seeming bewildered and excited.

"Love you," he whispered, the blue eyes widened slightly. "So long."

_Poof._

~end~


End file.
